In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
