You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
