My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
