are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
