Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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