I saw his package. It spoke to me.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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