Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
