I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I have post one night stand depression
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
