He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
