wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
