You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
