YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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