Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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