I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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