I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
