i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
