Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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