What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
