walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm like, not good at living.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm having to shit out rocks
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
