he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I see more hoeing in ur future
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