Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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