So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
