i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
