Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
