Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
