another moral hangover. fuck.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
