So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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