Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
