so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
