No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
