I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
