I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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