I wanna bring you to show and tell
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
