the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
