So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
