He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
