Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The Olympian is in my bed
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
