The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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