You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
