I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
