you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
