Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
