apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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