Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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