i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
