How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
