I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
