I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
