Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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