I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Randomize
